Humor is the only way to tell a story. Especially the dark ones. by Lisa Lutz

Humor is the only way to tell a story. Especially the dark ones.

Lisa Lutz

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Categorized in : Story Way Dark Humor

Our ability to adapt is amazing. Our ability to change isn't quit... by Lisa Lutz

Our ability to adapt is amazing. Our ability to change isn't quite as spectacular.

psychology change life

....You should keep dental floss on you at all times; when your eyesight goes, quit driving; don't keep too many secrets, eventually they'll eat away at you. But the most valuable lesson he taught me was this: Every day we get older, and some of us get wiser, but there's no end to our evolution. We are all a mess of contradictions; some of our traits work for us, some against us. And this is what I figured out on my own: Over the course of a lifetime, people change, but not as much as you'd think. Nobody really grows up.

dental-floss growing-up thinking

I don't mind losing. Losing is like breathing to me. by Lisa Lutz

I don't mind losing. Losing is like breathing to me.

breathing losing mind

You're a terrible cook, Daniel." "I know," he replied, "But it's the effort that counts." "I hope that's not the slogan for your dental practice.

dental effort practice

No one is going to abduct me, Rae." "That's what all abductees sa... by Lisa Lutz

No one is going to abduct me, Rae." "That's what all abductees say.

I knew immediately that this was not going to work out. Hunter is the kind of guy who dates women who wear high heels and a cocktail dress on a first date. I can't even walk in heels, and I generally believe that someone has to earn the right to see my legs.

work-out high-heels believe

She suspects her husband, Jake, might be gay." "Did you suggest she ask him?" Mom laughed. "Of course not. Business is slow.

gay husband mom

What's her name?" "None of your business." "That can't possibly b... by Lisa Lutz

What's her name?" "None of your business." "That can't possibly be her name.

none-of-your-business names

I'm staying," Henry said, annoyed. "Why?" "Because, if I leave, it would be like abandoning two mentally challenged people in a nuclear waste dump.

annoyed two people

The next week she withheld my paycheck until I signed a document (drafted by David) in which I promised not to marry Connor. Ever. I signed the document, took the check, and had David draft another document forbidding all Spellmans to practice any form of blackmail. David tried to explain to me that a contract in which you promise not to break the law is ultimately redundant, but I didn't care.

practice law next-week

His sense of humor is purely cheap vaudeville, yet everyone falls... by Lisa Lutz

His sense of humor is purely cheap vaudeville, yet everyone falls for it.

vaudeville sense-of-humor fall

My father insisted that the boys in my life were directly responsible for my juvenile-delinquent tendencies. My mother, more accurately, assumed that I was the bad influence.

mother boys father

While he bore no real resemblance to anyone in my family, his features were a collection of my mother's and father's best attributes, with a few of Gregory Peck's thrown in.

real mother father

Milo refreshed Rae's drink and said, Talk to her. You need to get it off your chest." Then Milo turned to me and said, "Why don't you try a more subtle approach." "I demand you tell me your troubles," I said to my sister. "You're not as funny as you think you are," Rae replied.

trying needs thinking

If people really grew up, there would be no crime, no divorce, no Civil War reenactors....it's not like you think it will be, that one day you'll wake up and realize that you've got things figured out. You never figure it out. Ever." - Isabel Spellman attempting to explain growing up to her sister Rae

divorce growing-up war

Stop looking at me like that." Sorry, I just wanted to savor the moment," Mom replied. What moment?" I asked. You're in first place," she said, and then began washing the windows.

mom sorry firsts

We knew we were doomed. The kiss was a warm acceptance of years of bickering, years of me consuming foods that I found barely edible and Henry tidying up after someone who already thought she had tidied up. When I kissed Henry I wasn't imagining Ex-boyfriend #13; I was picturing Husband #1.

ex-boyfriend husband acceptance

The latter. She had a good run, Sook said, doing a little shrug. It was his usual response to death at Mapleshade, and it was a safe bet that he felt that way about himself. Like most twice-widowed, Korea-vet, nature-loving, gun-enthusiast, bilingual, weed-connoisseur great grandfathers of five, he'd lived a full life.

weed gun running

I liked finding dirt on people. It made all my trespasses seem tr... by Lisa Lutz

I liked finding dirt on people. It made all my trespasses seem trivial.

dirt made people

I have a weakness for tough guys who read." - Izzy Spellman by Lisa Lutz

I have a weakness for tough guys who read." - Izzy Spellman

tough weakness guy