I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me. Rodney Dangerfield More Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield More Quotes From Rodney Dangerfield The sign on the bar said: 'girls- topless, bottomless', I went inside and there was nobody there! Rodney Dangerfield girl humor funny My parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio. Rodney Dangerfield humor parent funny They change the sheets every day... from one bed to another. Rodney Dangerfield sheets bed change A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started! Rodney Dangerfield humor men funny Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe. Rodney Dangerfield ties humor funny I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out. Rodney Dangerfield downers whole-life figures If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all. Rodney Dangerfield humor funny sex She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up. Rodney Dangerfield four humor funny My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!! Rodney Dangerfield wife humor funny I'll tell ya, I don't get no respect... The other day, I got back from a business trip. I got in a cab and said to the driver, "Hey! Take me to where the action is!" So ya know where he took me? He took me to my house! Rodney Dangerfield humor house funny When I got back into show business in 1961, I felt - for obvious reasons - that nothing in my life went right, and I realized that millions of people felt the same way. So when I first came Rodney Dangerfield phrases people way My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. Rodney Dangerfield humor eye funny Man, who don't like spaghetti? Rodney Dangerfield spaghetti men With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave. Rodney Dangerfield humor dog funny Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone. Rodney Dangerfield good-day challenges today [on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half. Rodney Dangerfield hours week half A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights. Rodney Dangerfield humor night funny I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece. Rodney Dangerfield southern people thinking I tell ya I got a stupid son. That's one load that shoulda been shot on the wall. Rodney Dangerfield wall stupid son I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me. Rodney Dangerfield dating guy girl
