I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening. Woody Allen More Quotes by Woody Allen More Quotes From Woody Allen In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee. Woody Allen leavers Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident. Woody Allen humorous names funny I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her. Woody Allen divorce should-have home Some people think about sex all the time; some people think of sex some of the time; and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers. Woody Allen sex people thinking The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson. Woody Allen baby children looks You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable untroubled people isn't interesting. Woody Allen drama people interesting Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right. Woody Allen humorous funny sex I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss. Woody Allen suicidal humor funny What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? Woody Allen humorous dream funny You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out Woody Allen elements important two I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants. Woody Allen shallow chinese work Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third. Woody Allen inertia marriage two What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop? Woody Allen balls basketball funny Showing up is 80 percent of life. Woody Allen percent showing-up How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size? Woody Allen humor funny world I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly. Woody Allen filmmaker wonderful thinking Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety Woody Allen bluebird anxiety Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake? Woody Allen sleep fun people Life is tough and it's tough whether you're famous or not famous. And in the end it's probably better to be famous because the perks are better. You get better seats at the basketball game, and you get better tables and reservations places. If I call a doctor on Saturday morning I can get him. There's a lot of things, indulgences that you don't get, if you're not famous. Now I'm not saying it's fair. But I can't say that I don't enjoy it. Woody Allen doctors basketball morning Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka. Woody Allen humorous self-esteem witty