I cannot bring myself to vote for a woman who has been voice-trained to speak to me as though my dog has just died. Keith Waterhouse More Quotes by Keith Waterhouse More Quotes From Keith Waterhouse I turn over a new leaf every day. But the blots show through. Keith Waterhouse leafs shows new-day Ninety-five percent of all statistics, including this one, are bogus. Keith Waterhouse ninety five statistics Life is a campus: in a Greenwich Village bookstore, looking for a New Yorker collection, I asked of an earnest-looking assistant where I might find the humour section. Peering over her granny glasses, she enquired, "Humour studies would that be, sir?" Keith Waterhouse glasses humor funny A consultation process is what some authority sets in motion preparatory to doing what it intended all along. Keith Waterhouse consultation authority process Never look to politicians to solve your problems, they will only create new ones. Keith Waterhouse politician problem looks The 50s face was angry, the 60s face was well-fed, the 70s face was foxy. Perhaps it was the right expression: there was a lot to be wary about. Keith Waterhouse feds expression faces Lying in bed, I abandoned the facts again and was back in Ambrosia. Keith Waterhouse bed lying facts The longer an event is anticipated-a milestone birthday, an eclipse, a new millennium-the more likely it is to be an anti-climax. Keith Waterhouse millennium eclipse events Trying to keep up with current slang sucks. Keith Waterhouse slang currents trying Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers, Society of, The? Keith Waterhouse known should Should not the Society of Indexers be know as Indexers, Society of, The? Keith Waterhouse know society should
