I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.' Jimmy Carr More Quotes by Jimmy Carr More Quotes From Jimmy Carr As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing. Jimmy Carr comedymarketingfirsts Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture; the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do. Jimmy Carr wifecultureworld If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself. Jimmy Carr eightweekendhome After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead. Jimmy Carr words-of-wisdomnightwatches There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could. Jimmy Carr jokespeople Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh. Jimmy Carr crazylaughing I don't see myself as offending people. Jimmy Carr offendingpeople I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one. Jimmy Carr being-in-lovewayideas I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh. Jimmy Carr realsimplecountry More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before. Jimmy Carr comedygoing-outpeople All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be. Jimmy Carr audacitycomediandifferent I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead. Jimmy Carr humorfunnyfall But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked. Jimmy Carr overwhelming-desireoppositespeople 8 Out of 10 Cats. Jimmy Carr world Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, but in a properly big and important way. My perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee. Jimmy Carr startcoffeewayworld They say the people most affected by the credit crunch are pensioners - well, let go of the handbag then, Nanna. Jimmy Carr they-saysaygopeople
