I do have certain feelings. My feeling is that whoever is in charge, I want him out. Lewis Black More Quotes by Lewis Black More Quotes From Lewis Black One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger. Lewis Black release comedy interesting When you compare Christmas to Hanukkah, there's no comparison. Christmas is great. Hanukkah sucks! First night you get socks. Second night, an eraser, a notebook. It's a Back-to-School holiday! Lewis Black holiday notebook school If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times. Lewis Black humor war funny I have N'Sync and Aerosmith and Britney Spears. I have a trifecta from hell. Lewis Black sync aerosmith hell I do the same gig. I might change it a little; I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast. Lewis Black littles talking people The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine. Lewis Black political laughing long If I get a week off, I'll go to a hotel that has a golf course. I like to come downstairs and go right onto the course. I'll do that five days in a row. Lewis Black hotel week golf It's 2003. Why can't I teleport? Lewis Black progress Basically I wake up in the morning and I think everything's going to be great. I'm really kind of optimistic, and I look forward to a new day. I pick up 'The New York Times,' and I look at the front page and realize that once again I'm wrong. I start to fixate on stuff. Lewis Black optimistic new-york morning Should I eat this or should I eat this? Well, I'll have to eat both! Lewis Black should-i wells should In a series of wonderful essays, Evan Handler gives himself up to us - warts and all. To our amusement and bemusement we share in his emotional growth as he struggles to mature. I not only laughed along with him but felt that I too had grown a little along the way. Who could ask for more? Lewis Black emotional struggle giving This is what I've been waiting for my whole life. A President who's not afraid to tell the truth about being a lying a**hole. Lewis Black president waiting lying Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I yelled even louder. I'm modulated now. Lewis Black yelling stage If you really think there's a Santa, why don't you sit on the front steps all night in the freezing cold and see if he climbs down any chimneys tonight. Good luck. And since we're a family that isn't lucky enough to have a chimney, how would Santa get into our house? Does he bring a locksmith with him? And it probably would have to be a Jewish locksmith, because a Christian locksmith is going to want to be home with his family. And how many Jewish locksmiths are there? None. Lewis Black good-luck christian home You are an adult, and you can dress up whenever you want to. You don't need permission anymore! If you wake up next tuesday, and you feel like being Batman, go for it! And then you go to work, and your boss will look up and go "who are you," and you can say: "I am Batman. That's who I am, who are you?" Lewis Black who-i-am Apparently there is no profit in the unique, or not enough to make it worthwhile to preserve. Ultimately it drains the life out of us, and existentialism starts to make more and more sense. Lewis Black existentialism unique enough I've got stress like anybody else, and it builds up during the day. Like, I'll be trying to do something on the computer, and I'll get stuck ,so I go to the help section. And it just enrages me, because why even call it a help section at all? There's nothing in any way 'helpful' about it. Lewis Black stress trying way Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler. Lewis Black teresa mustache mother There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye. Lewis Black bloodshot-eyes eye morning Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourettes'. Lewis Black tourettes nazi politics
