I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested. Jimmy Carr More Quotes by Jimmy Carr More Quotes From Jimmy Carr I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say. Jimmy Carr alsmayclass Jesus loves you... He's not 'in love' with you. Jimmy Carr love-youfunnyjesus I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it. Jimmy Carr humorfunnythinking I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.' Jimmy Carr nicehumorfunny In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza. Jimmy Carr tomatoeshumorfunny When someone close to you dies, move seats. Jimmy Carr humorfunnymoving I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake. Jimmy Carr cakesuccessfulthinking It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend to laugh much more in a group. Jimmy Carr laughingtwopeople The bigger the audience, the better with comedy. Jimmy Carr audiencecomedybigger You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face. Jimmy Carr guyfaceswant Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi. Jimmy Carr humorendsfunny I pay what I have to and not a penny more. Jimmy Carr penniespay It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all. Jimmy Carr humorhomefunny I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically. Jimmy Carr writingaddpeople I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me. Jimmy Carr rudewritingclass I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh. Jimmy Carr here-i-amtryinglaughing Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums. Jimmy Carr excitementawardswinning A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true. Jimmy Carr jokessurprisingsound I don't think young people should have bottoms, they're too young for that sort of thing. Jimmy Carr should-havepeoplethinking I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26. Jimmy Carr selfchristiansex
