I don't really need to be dirty to be funny. Jimmy Kimmel More Quotes by Jimmy Kimmel More Quotes From Jimmy Kimmel I felt like Seth made a joke last night that was specifically from me, he said his monologue was like sending the first dog into space to see if it came back alive, and I did feel that way… I was like ‘I have to see what Seth says and how it’s received’… and I thank him for being that litmus test. Jimmy Kimmel entertainment More than 40 percent of those impacted by the cuts would be children, if your baby is going to die -- and it doesn't have to -- it shouldn't matter how much money you make. I hope you never have to go there but if you do you’ll see so many kids from so many financial backgrounds being cared for so well with so much compassion. Jimmy Kimmel entertainment There is no one I would love to fight more than you, i will put my Christian values aside just for you and for that fight. Jimmy Kimmel top-news If your baby is going to die and Read MoreHe doesn't have to, Read MoreHe shouldn't matter how much money you make. Jimmy Kimmel top-news There's one smart person in our family, and she counseled us and explained everything to our family so I didn't have to. Jimmy Kimmel entertainment We were brought up to believe that we live in the greatest country in the world, but until a few years ago, millions and millions of us had no access to health insurance at all. Jimmy Kimmel entertainment Six pushes, he was out, he appeared to be a healthy normal baby until about three hours after he was born. Jimmy Kimmel entertainment It's a terrifying thing, you know, my wife is back in the recovery room, she has no idea what's going on and I'm standing in the middle of a lot of worried looking people -- kind of like right now -- who were trying to figure out what the problem is. Jimmy Kimmel entertainment It was the longest three hours of my life. Jimmy Kimmel entertainment They actually increased funding by $2 billion and I applaud them for doing that. Jimmy Kimmel entertainment I know it sounds crazy to say 'he was too young' but he was, he was youthful and funny and sharp and generous and I was fortunate not only to have Don on this show as my guest but also to become close to him and his wife Barbara which was a lot of fun for me. Jimmy Kimmel top-news There are two dozen articles – and thousands of comments online – suggesting that this is a prank – and I am responsible for it, and I have to say – that’s disappointing. You play like 50 pranks and all of a sudden people don't trust you anymore. Jimmy Kimmel latest-headlines It just kind of closed up on its own, i don’t know why it happened. I still don’t know why. Jimmy Kimmel entertainment You keep suggesting we' like' something, stop it, because we barely like you. Jimmy Kimmel living You tag people you claim to love in unflattering photos where they look terrible, but you know who doesn't look terrible in those photos ? You. Never you. Jimmy Kimmel living I'm a creative consultant, whatever that means. Jimmy Kimmel consultantmeanswhatevercreative Real emotion is good - or doing a good job of faking real emotion. Jimmy Kimmel doingjobgoodreal You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else. Jimmy Kimmel saymoreyoupizza I do have a treadmill desk in my office, and for a while, I would walk on it while checking email and going through jokes. I haven't walked on it in probably four months. Now it's more of an upright dining table for me. At some point, moss will grow over it, birds will build nests, and nature will reclaim the treadmill as its own. Jimmy Kimmel growwalkmenature Almost half our representatives in Washington apparently know more about science than our scientists. Or they pretend to, because big corporations give them a lot of money to make sure they can keep doing the destructive things that they do. Jimmy Kimmel doingknowmoneyscience
