I don't think there is a woman in her 40s who doesn't, kind of, examine herself in the mirror. Sarah Silverman More Quotes by Sarah Silverman More Quotes From Sarah Silverman I was going to get an abortion the other day. Sarah Silverman abortionhumorfunny I was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the many inconveniences of this paradox I lived with -the more people I was surrounded by, the more frighteningly alone I felt. Sarah Silverman unbearablekidspeople I will always try to be happy. I don’t think people really understand the value of happiness until they know what it’s like to be in that very, very dark place. It’s not romantic. Not even a little. Sarah Silverman darkpeoplethinking When you’re a bed wetter there’s only one group of people you can feel better than, bed shitters, and unfortunately they’re hard to come by. Sarah Silverman bedfeel-betterpeople I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin. Sarah Silverman humorfunnythinking People say I'm a nice girl saying terrible things. I tend to say the opposite of what I think. You hope that the absolute power of that transcends, and reaches the audience. Sarah Silverman nicegirlthinking When I was 9 or 10 years old, my dad took me over to a neighboring farm to help get stuff for the meal. The farmer, Vic, told me to look at all the turkeys and pick one out. I saw a cute one with a silly walk and cried, 'Him!' Before my pointing finger had even dropped to my side, Vic had grabbed the turkey by the neck and slit [the animal's] throat. Blood and feathers went flying. I had sentenced that turkey to death! Up until then, I didn't know where meat came from—and I've been a vegetarian ever since. Sarah Silverman dadsillycute I really think everything is fair game. Sarah Silverman comedygamesthinking And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school. Sarah Silverman dadfunnyart I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl. Sarah Silverman doctorsgirlfunny When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach. Sarah Silverman episodesactingstars Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me. Sarah Silverman smellimpactcrazy If I have kids, I'll adopt. Sarah Silverman ifskids I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core. Sarah Silverman holocausthumorfunny I like my life alone. Sarah Silverman Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine. Sarah Silverman squashwantmen They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle. Sarah Silverman unclesparentfun But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough. Sarah Silverman humorfunnythinking Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is 'Sleepers,' so I wasn't really taken to children's movies. Sarah Silverman growing-uptakenchildren I do love the idea of ritual. Sarah Silverman ritualideas
