I don't Tweet a lot because I've Tweeted things that I thought were really innocuous about subjects that are inflammatory, and the response is so insane sometimes from people. Lewis Black More Quotes by Lewis Black More Quotes From Lewis Black There's no reason to tweet when you are in the midst of a great moment; they are few and far between. So pay attention to it, as you probably won't see it again. You can always tweet later, if you're lucky enough to be part of history and you think 140 characters can do credit to someone like Martin Luther King or to the speech he made that day. Lewis Black lucky character thinking FEMA I always thought was a bone here in your ass. Lewis Black ass bones Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know except for maybe true love, that and maybe having the amazing health insurance plan that our congressmen have. Lewis Black secret want graduation You know what would help the instruction form? Verbs! Verbs would be nice! Because they help you get to the end of a thought! Lewis Black verbs nice would-be When people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. You should be shopping. Our economy depends on you! You should be out there buying stuff.' Lewis Black shopping stuff people Anybody who likes writing a book is an idiot. Because it's impossible; it's like having a homework assignment every stinking day until it's done. And by the time you get it in, it's done and you're sitting there reading it, and you realize the 12,000 things you didn't do. I mean, writing isn't fun. It's never been fun. Lewis Black reading fun book I have this insane optimistic streak that the American people prevail over the stupidity that the leadership exhibits time and time again, and I think that's the truth. Lewis Black optimistic people thinking My hate of Apple has moved into a hate of Facebook. Lewis Black moved apples hate I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come out of the audience and tell me the worst joke ever. It's just a guarantee. Lewis Black guarantees-that clubs comedy Now, most of the time you couldn't be too sure of the quality of the drug. Although, in my experience the stuff was always of a very high quality, because back then we didn't have business majors peddling lower-quality stuff in an effort to increase profits. Lewis Black effort humor funny I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it's a healthy outlet for them. If they weren't covering their lawns with twinkling lights, they'd be doing something that was really, really creepy. Lewis Black light home thinking I think inevitably over the course of my lifetime there's been an underestimation of the American people, and I believe they are really the ones that give me hope. There's so much of "they don't know this, and they don't know that," and they're always denigrating. Lewis Black believe people thinking Just relax and breathe through your ass. Lewis Black relax humor funny I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing. Lewis Black broke Wow, you survived a blackout. You're made of stronger stuff than ice cream. Lewis Black wow ice-cream stronger You look at my audience, and it proves what Congress thinks America is, is wrong. I get people across the political spectrum. Parents and kids come and they're all punked out, and there are these other guys in John Deere caps. Lewis Black kids america thinking Socialism appeals to me. It's like imposed Christianity. You've got to share. Lewis Black socialism christianity share How long can we go without real leadership? It's like an experiment. It's [a problem with] both parties, it's beyond belief. Lewis Black party real long Usually I'm too tired to apologize. Lewis Black apologizing tired I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say. Lewis Black amazed
