I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth. Will Rogers More Quotes by Will Rogers More Quotes From Will Rogers You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people. Will Rogers common-senseintelligencepeople There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone. Will Rogers formulaswisdomtrying The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. They speak of it almost like a national calamity. I really believe if it come to a vote whether to go to war with England, France and Germany combined, or raise the rate on incomes of over $100,000, they would vote war. Will Rogers francewarbelieve Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers changelifefunny Take me ham away, take away my eggs, even my Chili, but leave me my newspaper. Will Rogers hamnewspaperseggs The government sent the Indians to Oklahoma. They had a treaty that said, 'You shall have this land as long as grass grows and water flows.' It was not only a good rhyme but looked like a good treaty, and it was till they struck oil. Then the Government took it away from us again. They said the treaty only refers to 'Water and Grass; it don't say anything about oil.' Will Rogers oklahomagovernmentreal If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week Will Rogers causesinspirationtails Of course nothing is ever done about a [presidential] commission report, except, they say, once a man at the state prison for the criminally insane actually read one once clear through. Then he did something about it. He made a bonfire that lasted a week. Will Rogers presidentialinsanemen No nation ever had two better friends that we have. You know who they are? The Atlantic and Pacific oceans. Will Rogers oceanknowstwo Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth. Will Rogers gossipbusinesslong You see, in Washington they have these bodies, Senate and the House of Representatives. That is for the convenience of the visitors. If there is nothing funny happening in one, there is sure to be in the other, and in case one body passes a good bill, why, the other can see it in time and kill it. Will Rogers bodyhouseamerica A Republican moves slowly. They are what we call conservatives. A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't have some. Will Rogers politicsmenmoving Just because it's common sense, doesn't mean it's common practice. Will Rogers common-sensepracticemean You can't fool all of the people all of the time. But it isn't necessary. Will Rogers atheistlyingpeople It costs ten times more to govern us than it used to, and we are not governed one-tenth as good. Will Rogers taxescostused You've never in your life seen a picture, I bet any one of you, never seen a picture of one of these old Pilgrims praying when they didn't have a gun right by the side of them. That was to see that he got what he was praying for. Will Rogers gunprayingsides What would we say if the Chinese sent a gunboat with their marines up the Mississippi River claiming they were protecting their laundries in Memphis? Will Rogers chinesemarinerivers Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due. Will Rogers debtworrymay Don't wait to buy land, buy land and wait. Will Rogers estateslandwaiting No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has. Will Rogers dogsillymen
