I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes. Woody Allen More Quotes by Woody Allen More Quotes From Woody Allen My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women. Woody Allen success class funny I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen inspirational funny death I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. Woody Allen sadism horse sarcastic Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue. Woody Allen humor drama funny If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. Woody Allen atheist witty philosophy I've never been an intellectual but I have this look. Woody Allen intelligent humor funny I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak. Woody Allen funny-life hate witty Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime. Woody Allen punishment humor funny I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment. Woody Allen humorous heart witty Ninety percent of life is just showing up. Woody Allen fitness-motivational showing-up life-is My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention. Woody Allen middle-child mother children Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. Woody Allen god inspirational funny I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It -- with the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done, and I could also be dead. Woody Allen humorous new-york witty Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. Woody Allen life funny art I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die. Woody Allen toilets care busy Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? Woody Allen life funny death I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics. Woody Allen catholic believe people It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to. Woody Allen dance writing world Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind. Woody Allen humans knowing mind Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun. Woody Allen fun men two
