I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill. Gracie Allen More Quotes by Gracie Allen More Quotes From Gracie Allen Never place a period where God has placed a comma. Gracie Allen motivation humor funny We favor putting Congress on a commission basis. Pay them for results. If they do a good job and the country prospers, they get 10% of the extra take. Gracie Allen favors jobs country A friend asked her doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, "Thirty-five children is enough for any woman. Gracie Allen doctors pregnancy children This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them. Gracie Allen eggs silly food This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances. Gracie Allen balance used government My mind works so fast. When I think of something I say it. Lots of times I say it even before I think of it. Gracie Allen mind talking thinking I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it. Gracie Allen freezer water needs The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow. Gracie Allen president justice today They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it. Gracie Allen arcs built stupidity Today millions of people are living who will never do it again. Millions are being born for the first time - and millions are doing nothing because it's the best offer they've had this week. It is for these people and many others that the Surprise Party is conceived and desecrated, founded upon the principle that everybody is just as good as anybody else, even though they aren't quite so smart. Gracie Allen smart party people I think there's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about. Gracie Allen worst talking thinking Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing. Gracie Allen brain funny people I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides. Gracie Allen differences bread sides Classic Recipe for Roast Beef: 1 large Roast of beef 1 small Roast of beef Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done. Gracie Allen cooking food two Gracie: "Don't give up, Blanche. Women don't do that. Look at Betsy Ross, Martha Washington-they didn't give up. Look at Nina Jones." Blanche Morton: "Nina Jones?" Gracie: "I've never heard of her either, because she gave up." Gracie Allen dont-give-up giving-up determination Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. Gracie Allen senior family funny When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. Gracie Allen funny-inspirational funny-birthday women A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for. Gracie Allen voters platforms fall My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old. Gracie Allen women husband life I fully realize that every promise I make, the Republicans will double and the Democrats will redouble. They think this will make me vulnerable, but they don't know I have some tricks up my sleeve, along with a box of raisins to munch on while I'm waiting for the returns to come in. Gracie Allen waiting promise thinking
