I'm a postmodern commentator, and so, in a cheeky parallel to James Joyce or James Kelman, I get to places, verbally, that are a little unusual - when I talk about Jocky Wilson and end up sounding like a Jackson Pollock of the commentary box. Sid Waddell More Quotes by Sid Waddell More Quotes From Sid Waddell When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. [Eric] Bristow is only 27. Sid Waddell eric tears world The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips... you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them. Sid Waddell redneck vinegar atmosphere Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength. Sid Waddell darts body player William Tell could take an apple off your head, [Phil] Taylor could take out a processed pea. Sid Waddell darts peas apples It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline. Sid Waddell kangaroos trampolines trying That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus. Sid Waddell darts lazarus comeback Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis. Sid Waddell darts Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy. Sid Waddell exercise rooms ideas Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts orbit! Sid Waddell darts orbit consistency Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy! Sid Waddell darts underdog keith One hundred and eighty, divided by three, is one dart at a time Sid Waddell hundred three divided He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed. Sid Waddell wasps predictable speed Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint. Sid Waddell beats stones heart When I see Steve Davis I see two letters... C S... Cue Sorceror. Sid Waddell letters two Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax. Sid Waddell darts elegance hair Jockey Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a choo-choo train! Sid Waddell darts jockeys valleys Golden rule of life: never underestimate your rivals. Sid Waddell rivals golden underestimate Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out. Sid Waddell necks giraffe sticks You can get the dart player out of the pub, but you can't get the pub out of the dart player. Sid Waddell pub out get you He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave. Sid Waddell about he happy looks
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