I'm trying to teach my girlfriend how to surf. But I just end up yelling at her the whole time. Because I don't know how to surf. Anthony Jeselnik More Quotes by Anthony Jeselnik More Quotes From Anthony Jeselnik [ Right now ] it is high caliber and they are very nice, they don’t want to show anyone being embarrassed.... They don’t want to see anyone doing badly and that to me is the most interesting part. They took out all the mean stuff. And that is my favorite part. Anthony Jeselnik latest-headlines I was n’t bad enough that they could make fun of me. And I was n’t good enough that they would put me on TV. Anthony Jeselnik latest-headlines The driving force behind doing everything that I've been doing for 11 years as a stand-up is having problems with authority and not liking to be told what to do. Anthony Jeselnik behind problems doing driving I'm not just offensive, I'm very smart about the way that I do it, and that takes a lot of time. People say that young comics shouldn't be trying these things. That's ridiculous. You should try everything and see what sticks. Anthony Jeselnik you smart time people