I'm trying to teach my girlfriend how to surf. But I just end up yelling at her the whole time. Because I don't know how to surf. Anthony Jeselnik More Quotes by Anthony Jeselnik More Quotes From Anthony Jeselnik I'll be very busy, which is all I need. Anthony Jeselnik busy needs I actually never acted on "Deadwood." I have meetings all the time where people look at my IMDb page and see that I played the part of "Accounting Clerk" on Deadwood. Actually, I was the accounting clerk for production of "Deadwood." Anthony Jeselnik clerks people looks I like to read, but otherwise I'm just your average, self-obsessed comedian. It's pretty much all I think about. Anthony Jeselnik self average thinking I tell very mean jokes. Anthony Jeselnik very-mean jokes mean About a year after I moved to Los Angeles, I decided I wanted to be a joke writer for a late night talk show. So I met with a late night joke writer and he told me that I should start by doing stand-up comedy, because that would really hone my sense of humor and joke writing ability. Eventually I took a stand-up class and a few months later I had a seven-minute act. Anthony Jeselnik writing night years I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage. Anthony Jeselnik comedian smart complaining I try to retire jokes as soon as I can once I put them on an album. But I can't think of anything I just stopped doing for no reason. Anthony Jeselnik albums trying thinking I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say. Anthony Jeselnik comedian stuff writing Amy [Schumer] and I each have our cross to bear when it comes to tattoos. Amy and I are funny when we fight. It just keeps escalating until one of us starts laughing. Then it's over. I'm happy that we're friends. Anthony Jeselnik tattoo fighting laughing I'm fascinated by offensive subject matter. Always have been. It is very natural to me, as any teach I've ever had growing up could attest. Anthony Jeselnik offensive growing-up matter That's the worst way you can hear about comedy material: from a third person's blog story that they wrote when they were upset. Anthony Jeselnik upset stories way I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death. Anthony Jeselnik want death people I grew up in a poor family. I had to cut everyone's hair, because we didn't have money for entertainment. Anthony Jeselnik entertainment cutting hair Im not the voice of reason; Im more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke. Anthony Jeselnik topics voice guy I got into comedy because I wanted to get into writing. Anthony Jeselnik comedy wanted writing What do I care if someone doesn't like me. If I like someone other people hate, it makes me feel special. I think my fans feel that way. Anthony Jeselnik hate people thinking God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny. Anthony Jeselnik shows sound I enjoyed writing for someone elses voice, but I wasnt very good at it. Anthony Jeselnik very-good voice writing There was good and bad like in any other relationship, if it was great, we would still be together. But we figured it out. We are friends now. It’s good. She has got the romantic comedy market cornered. I am happy for her. Anthony Jeselnik latest-headlines They had asked a lot of people before they got to me, so I felt kind of like I can do whatever I want because they don’t really have a plan B. I took advantage of that. I was like ‘ I will do it — but I will do it my way. ’. Anthony Jeselnik latest-headlines
