I see the glass half full...but of poison. Woody Allen More Quotes by Woody Allen More Quotes From Woody Allen I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens. Woody Allen fear-of-deathwanthappens More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen hopeinspiringinspirational When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch. Woody Allen hardlight I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. Woody Allen wittyinspirationalfunny Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors. Woody Allen here-and-therelife-isway The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year. Woody Allen lastsstudyyears I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points? Woody Allen smartcleverfunny I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. Woody Allen thankfullifefunny The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small. Woody Allen portionsterriblefood Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special. Woody Allen short-lifelife-is-shortpain There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope. Woody Allen structurejusticeway Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous. Woody Allen humorfunnysex Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it! Woody Allen halfcountrychildren You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on. Woody Allen annie-hallbrilliantideas All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that. Woody Allen literaturemeanideas Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed. Woody Allen divorcewaterthinking I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again. Woody Allen nicefallthinking I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. Woody Allen wittylifefunny I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present. Woody Allen trying If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for. Woody Allen showing-upgoallife-is
