I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.

Joan Rivers

Categorized in : Thinking Care Drug

I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YO... by Joan Rivers

I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.

get-better wish grieving

We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.

apology humor laughing

Life is a movie, and you're the star. Give it a happy ending. by Joan Rivers

Life is a movie, and you're the star. Give it a happy ending.

happy-endings stars giving

When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you... by Joan Rivers

When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.

laugh-at-yourself fool laughing

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a... by Joan Rivers

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

witty baby funny

If you laugh at it, you can deal with it. by Joan Rivers

If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.

deals ifs laughing

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

hilarious hate funny

At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accen... by Joan Rivers

At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.

comedian funeral age

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking. by Joan Rivers

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

inspiration memorable success

Marriage isn't a contest to see who is most often right. Marriage requires being what the Japanese call 'the wise bamboo,' which means you bend so you don't break. Treat your spouse with the flexibility and respect you would give to a top client. Think how we treat clients; We smile, we are polite, we listen to their ideas. Never forget that your spouse is your most important client.

wise mean thinking

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

lucky funny years

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. by Joan Rivers

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.

calm thought-provoking enjoy

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'

husband names funny

If you can't make fun of yourself, you don't have any right to ma... by Joan Rivers

If you can't make fun of yourself, you don't have any right to make fun of others

ifs fun

Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's ha... by Joan Rivers

Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.

happenings enjoy

moving on is a gift you give yourself. by Joan Rivers

moving on is a gift you give yourself.

change giving moving

Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

library men hands

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

wisdom wise thinking

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said... by Joan Rivers

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

mother witty funny

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

funny-life money happiness