I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in. Noel Fielding More Quotes by Noel Fielding More Quotes From Noel Fielding My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny, my uncle's really funny, everyone's really funny. You have to be quick, otherwise you get roasted. Everyone takes the piss quite a lot. You have to be really sharp. Noel Fielding mum uncles dad I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved. Noel Fielding flying humor funny Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it. Noel Fielding stage people My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat. Noel Fielding wall summer funny I think I should be in a film called 'Space Shrews'. Where I go to space. With a load of shrews. And nothing really happens. We just get out and have a lolly and then come back. But it'll be a musical the ship will be built out of my own hair. Noel Fielding space hair thinking Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out. Noel Fielding pain couple funny I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps. Noel Fielding humor funny thinking I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, "Yeah, whatever." And it was him, but I even went to him, "That's not even a good Irish accent!" Noel Fielding humor names funny I don't pick stuff up, I knock stuff down! Noel Fielding picks stuff That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade. Noel Fielding humor funny children No means yes in grasshopper language. Noel Fielding humor funny mean When you're a kid and someone's an artist, you think of Leonardo da Vinci. You don't think that's a job; you just think of a man with a beard painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Noel Fielding jobs men kids There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street. Noel Fielding drunk drug football Things are different in the fantasy world Noel Fielding towels dancing world We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys Noel Fielding humor funny needs I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions. Noel Fielding old-lady humor funny I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way. Noel Fielding audience way world Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith. Noel Fielding powerful humor funny Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for. Noel Fielding humor teacher funny I couldn't have invented crisps. ... I don't really want to be known as the man who invented crisps. ... I invented apples. ... I invented pandas, and caps. I invented soil. Noel Fielding humor men funny