I've put an umbrella in my mouth and opened it. I sat in a lemon-meringue pie. I've done terrible things to my dog with a fork. Steve Martin More Quotes by Steve Martin More Quotes From Steve Martin He gave her his phone number, in a peculiar reversal of dating procedure. She might have considered kissing him, even after the horrible first date, but he just didn’t seem to know what to do. However, Jeremy does have one outstanding quality. He likes her. And this quality in a person makes them infinitely interesting to the person who is being liked. Steve Martin kissing phones numbers When people ask me, ‘how do you make it in show business,’ or whatever, what I always tell them — and nobody ever takes note of it ‘cuz it’s not the answer they wanted to hear…but I always say, ‘Be so good they can’t ignore you.’ Steve Martin cuz answers people Anyone who's ever worked with Meryl Streep always says the same thing: can that woman act! And what's with all the Hitler memorabilia? Steve Martin memorabilia Love is a promise delivered already broken. Steve Martin broken-heart love-is promise Comedy makes you humble. Because there are so many opportunities to miss, and strike out. Steve Martin humble missing opportunity I'm always looking for something to engage my imagination and take me on a little mental voyage. I just want a new topic in my life. Steve Martin imagination want littles Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones. Steve Martin bad-relationship successful people I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers. Steve Martin inspiration funny people I was very interested in vaudeville. It was the only sort of discipline that was a five-minute act on stage, which is what I really enjoyed and saw myself doing. And I bought books on it. Steve Martin vaudeville discipline book I would say the three stages of making a film are the initial 'are we gonna do this,' 'how much will I be paid,' is there a lot of nights, who's it going to be with? The second stage of doing a film is how much fun your going to have doing it. The third stage is was the film a hit? Steve Martin three fun night It's funny that some ideas start with a little "What if?" and then suddenly you're spending a million dollars to shoot the scene and hoping that it works. Steve Martin ifs-and what-if ideas Knowledge of means without knowledge of ends is animal training. Steve Martin animal mean knowledge If he thinks he would harm Mirabelle, he would back away. But he does not yet understand when and how people are hurt. He doesn't understand the subtleties of slights and pains, that it is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart. Steve Martin pain hurt heart You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies. Steve Martin movie problem funny She had destroyed whatever was between us by making a profound gaffe: She met me. Steve Martin destroyed mets profound ... you're nuts but you're welcome here. Steve Martin you-re-welcome welcome nuts I had loved magic tricks from the time I was six or seven. I bought books on magic. I did magic acts for my parents and their friends. I was aiming for show business from early days, and magic was the poor man's way of getting in: you buy a trick for $2, and you've got an act. Steve Martin parent men book Unlike Ray Porter, his love is fearless and without reservation. Steve Martin fearless rays love-is I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart. Steve Martin understood heart quiet Be undeniably good. When people ask me how do you make it in show business or whatever, what I always tell them & nobody ever takes note of it 'cause it's not the answer they wanted to hear-what they want to hear is here's how you get an agent, here's how you write a script, here's how you do this-but I always say, “Be so good they can't ignore you.” If somebody's thinking, “How can I be really good?” people are going to come to you. It's much easier doing it that way than going to cocktail parties. Steve Martin party writing thinking