I've put an umbrella in my mouth and opened it. I sat in a lemon-meringue pie. I've done terrible things to my dog with a fork. Steve Martin More Quotes by Steve Martin More Quotes From Steve Martin With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it's going to work. And then you get the response. It's great when it's good. Steve Martin comedy years ideas I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. Steve Martin originality comic fame I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words. Steve Martin rhythm creating enjoy So, I can hurt now, or hurt later. Steve Martin i-can hurt ...the divided world of Aspen, where locals with a sense of entitlement were pitted against developers with a sense of condominiums. Steve Martin aspens entitlement world Stand-up life is really hard. At one point, I got so paralyzed I could write five screenplays before I could write three jokes for stand-up. Later, I've finally allowed myself to relax quite a bit, to think I can do it because I've done it in the past. The pressure to come up with the material is the same but the anxiety about whether I can do it is gone. Steve Martin writing past thinking A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true. Steve Martin kissing truth wish Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. Steve Martin humor funny sex I cringe at backstory. Because it never quite explains or gets into some psychological thing that is never quite right and never quite the truth and who knows why someone is someway. Steve Martin psychological knows way Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! Steve Martin different boys funny What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke. Steve Martin laughing people art So she viewed time spent in the land of the normal as an investigation into the world of marriage-worthy men, even if she was unsure about her own interest in marriage. There must be one solid citizen who also had a spark of life, a sense of humor and adventure. Steve Martin land adventure men I will do anything to look like him - except, of course, exercise or eat right. Steve Martin peer-pressure exercise looks There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that. Steve Martin moving-on break-up funny I never touched a gun in my life. That and that alone forever doomed me to middle management. Steve Martin middle-management gun forever A friend of mine once asked how to make it in show business and I said "Be so good that they can't ignore you." She thought I was being flip but it's true. The challenge is trying to live up to the opportunities given me. Steve Martin challenges opportunity trying I don't really manage my time. I really just wait until I'm inspired to do something. And when I'm inspired to do something, it just happens. Steve Martin my-time inspired waiting I'm not a human being. I'm despicable and disgusting - but that's where the money is. Steve Martin disgusting entertainment art It [live performance] is just very difficult. Doing an hour, hour and a half of live standup is an endurance test. You almost have to do it every day to stay up on it. Steve Martin endurance tests half I take editing seriously. It's a joy to edit. I always hand a manuscript to several editors and can't wait to get back their notes and see what they've said. I don't criticize myself for making blunders here and there, because it's just natural. You write in chunks, and you may not remember that that sentence you wrote yesterday had the same word repeated three times. I do enjoy that. I love the feeling of repairing. Repairing is really nice. Steve Martin nice editing writing