I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born. Red Skelton More Quotes by Red Skelton More Quotes From Red Skelton Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. Red Skelton laughter sadness happiness I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God. Red Skelton purpose believe people If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled. Red Skelton smile silly heart There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two. Red Skelton humorous loss memories I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always Red Skelton divorce inspiration names Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. Red Skelton old-age age mind People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up. Red Skelton flower morning thinking Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime. Red Skelton laughter running funny All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. Red Skelton marriage mistake inspirational No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds. Red Skelton heartache laughter happiness Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people. Red Skelton laughing people thinking I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin Red Skelton next guy drinking I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen. Red Skelton humor inspiration funny I don't need glasses, but I've just reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity. Red Skelton vanity glasses curiosity I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy. Red Skelton believe My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. Red Skelton doctors dollars looks Congress: Bingo with billions. Red Skelton bingo billions congress Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room. Red Skelton character television rooms She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off Red Skelton humor inspiration funny I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it. Red Skelton cooking limits food
