I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I've discovered? I need a girlfriend. Dave Attell More Quotes by Dave Attell More Quotes From Dave Attell I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous. Dave Attell I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. Dave Attell tvs I used to do drugs, but that was way back there. Dave Attell drug humor funny I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. I'm not an actor though, so I don't really have much choice in the matter. Dave Attell actors choices matter Are you shooting webs of stupid at me? Dave Attell humor stupid funny I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family. Dave Attell my-family generations guy For me, Molly Hatchet is high school. It makes me feel like I have hair and a future. Dave Attell hatchet hair school I don't watch reality TV. Dave Attell tvs watches reality I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes. Dave Attell shows people television I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes. Dave Attell comic jokes writing I never wanted to be famous. Dave Attell wanted I'm not like a performer type. Dave Attell type performers I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that. Dave Attell stars thinking Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick. Dave Attell you matter people way I don't watch reality TV. I'm cool. Dave Attell reality-tv watch cool reality