If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer. George Burns More Quotes by George Burns More Quotes From George Burns I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success. George Burns care ifs inspirational The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides. George Burns truth heart reality I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do. George Burns being-thankful stills each-day When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile. George Burns age here-i-am funny Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up. George Burns humorous funny reality She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting. George Burns essence funny school There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone. George Burns dies bed way I thought to myself, 'why not write a bestseller?' In the first place, more people buy them and more people read them. You make more money and it doesn’t take any more time to write a bestseller than it does to write a book nobody buys. George Burns writing funny book Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it. George Burns humorous kids moving It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. George Burns funny sex dirty In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy. George Burns honesty keys business Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later. George Burns nice funny sex At home we ate fish every Friday, as Catholics were then supposed to do. Being Jewish, I compromised. I wore a hat when I ate fish, out of respect for my own religion and the fish's family. George Burns friday catholic home Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives. George Burns husband boys funny Should I be the one to play God? We're both about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods. George Burns humorous god funny A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night. George Burns healthy men night Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left George Burns aging business retirement I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. George Burns witty life funny Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... or a bad woman. George Burns cuban-cigars good-woman drinking I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. George Burns humor age funny
