If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk? Erma Bombeck More Quotes by Erma Bombeck More Quotes From Erma Bombeck I became hysterical and frightened and begged for sedation. And that was just the first prenatal visit. Erma Bombeck hysterical frightened firsts Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide. Erma Bombeck humor suicide funny Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible. Erma Bombeck breathing sound baby Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating? Erma Bombeck modern-life cooking pride Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede. Erma Bombeck spit-up baby children I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born. Erma Bombeck husband mother baby I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of "go out and fulfill your dreams" and "be everything you were meant to be." But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren. Erma Bombeck daughter mother dream A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest. Erma Bombeck wife husband goes-on I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it. Erma Bombeck funeral may giving Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff. Erma Bombeck eye memories thinking A small waist makes you tire easily. Erma Bombeck tire weight I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby. Erma Bombeck light baby two You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan. Erma Bombeck mother home boys I lost everything in the post-natal depression. Erma Bombeck natal lost-everything christmas The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going going to drop? Erma Bombeck good-times shoes crazy Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest was initiated by a desire to return to the roots of yesterday. I contend the entire movement to acquire antiques was born out of sheer respect of things that lasted longer than fifteen minutes. Erma Bombeck roots yesterday home Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth. Erma Bombeck teeth impact dog Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, "Some Americans say it tastes like chicken. Erma Bombeck taste eating years [On her father's death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much. Erma Bombeck leaving hurt father In Russia, as I sat there day after day wearing headphones, listening to the interpreter struggle to make our words relevant, I wondered if we could establish meaningful rapport with a nation that had never seen raisins dance in dark glasses on TV...never had a garage sale. Erma Bombeck struggle dark meaningful
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