If you had no enemies, you had no fun. Denis Leary More Quotes by Denis Leary More Quotes From Denis Leary White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! It's beyond the point where it's a joke. He's an idiot. Denis Leary realmencountry If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in. Denis Leary governmentrightssorry The Social Wishlist on Facebook is a great example of everything right about social media. Denis Leary social-mediamediaexample When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical world, like with "No Cure For Cancer." Denis Leary curescancerworld Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I'm the maid in my house. Denis Leary maidsmachineshouse I'd love to do another television series. I really love the writing process, and as an actor I really like how much you get to examine in television. Denis Leary actorswritingtelevision Most people think, "Life sucks, and then you die." I disagree. I think life sucks. Then you get cancer. Then you go into chemotherapy. You lose all your hair, you feel bad about yourself. Then all of the sudden the cancer goes into remission, and then all of the sudden you have a stroke. You can't move your right side. And then, maybe, you die. Denis Leary cancerfunnymoving Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad Denis Leary momclasstalking Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry? Denis Leary swimmingwifetuesday We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me! Denis Leary humorfunnycountry I'm in my truck talking to Jesus. And you can see a World Series ring on my right pinkie finger. But when I take my sunglasses off a second later, it's gone. It's the whole divine intervention thing. You know Jesus had something to do with them winning. Denis Leary winningtalkingjesus I've eaten things that didn't complain this much. Denis Leary humorcomplainingfunny There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid. Denis Leary sexyhumorfunny I obviously identify with the anti-authority figure. I've pretty much always had problems with authority, ever since I was a kid. But, yeah, it's not identifying, I think it's more a part of my natural DNA that I question anybody who has a plan. Everybody's got to have an angle; that's the way I grew up. Denis Leary dnakidsthinking The only difference between kids and jungle animals is pants. Kids wear them. Jungle animals don't. Denis Leary differencesanimalkids I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. "What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli?" Broccoli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, OK! When they ask me what I want, I say: What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now. Denis Leary humorfunnythinking No woman can be completely happy at any one moment in time. They're always anticipating the next thing to argue or complain about. Denis Leary nextcomplainingarguing There are about a thousand different variations on a horse neigh. Some of them sound like a horse having sex, some of them like a horse having sad sex. Denis Leary horsesoundsex You just can't win. Men have very recent land mines in their heads. Women have recorded conversations and photographs in their heads from 15 years ago. Denis Leary winningmenyears I had a relationship with an Italian chick that was built on just fighting and sex. As much as all women won't let go of stuff, Italian girls won't let go of anything. And she punched really hard. I got tired of the arguing it took to get to the sex. Denis Leary girlletting-gosex
