If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. Scott Adams More Quotes by Scott Adams More Quotes From Scott Adams The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the Scott Adams talkingmenmoving Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. Scott Adams small-actskindnessinspirational You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me. Scott Adams inspirational-lifelearningteaching Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Scott Adams engineeringangerproblem Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. Scott Adams inspirationallovelife Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve. Scott Adams limitslongpeople Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant. Scott Adams foodmenlife There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot. Scott Adams dilbertidiotdanger If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. Scott Adams funny-worklooksideas The surest way to identify those who won't succeed at weight loss is that they tend to say things like "My goal is to lose ten pounds." Weight targets often work in the short run. But if you need willpower to keep the weight off, you're doomed in the long run. The only way to succeed in the long run is by using a system that bypasses your need for willpower. Scott Adams lossrunninglong If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? Scott Adams smartstupidfunny People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred. Scott Adams hatredsidespeople Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you. Scott Adams qualitystresscaring The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management. Scott Adams businessworkfunny You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles. Scott Adams guyimportantyears The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility. Scott Adams benignthis-lifelife-is As a rule, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it's really, really funny. Scott Adams misfortunes-of-othersexceptionlaughing There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. Scott Adams dilbertproblemwisdom Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Scott Adams sciencebelievereality Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster. Scott Adams credithard-workpeople
