In Baltimore, soft crabs are always fried (or broiled) in the altogether, with maybe a small jock-strap of bacon added. H. L. Mencken More Quotes by H. L. Mencken More Quotes From H. L. Mencken The so-called Philosophy of India is even more blowsy and senseless than the metaphysics of the West. It is at war with everything we know of the workings of the human mind, and with every sound idea formulated by mankind. If it prevailed in the whole modern world we'd still be in the Thirteenth Century; nay, we'd be back among the Egyptians of the pyramid age. Its only coherent contribution to Western thought has been theosophy-and theosophy is as idiotic as Christian Science. It has absolutely nothing to offer a civilized white man. H. L. Mencken christian philosophy war Why assume so glibly that the God who presumably created the universe is still running it? It is certainly conceivable that He may have finished it and then turned it over to lesser gods to operate. H. L. Mencken religious god running There is only one justification for having sinned, and that is to be glad of it. H. L. Mencken morality liberty religion I am one of the few goyim who have ever actually tackled the Talmud. I suppose you now expect me to add that it is a profound and noble work, worthy of hard study by all other goyims. Unhappily, my report must differ from this expectation. It seems to me, save for a few bright spots, to be quite indistinguishable from rubbish. H. L. Mencken noble expectations profound For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end. H. L. Mencken mutual-interest trust marriage Criticism is prejudice made plausible. H. L. Mencken powerful humorous witty War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands. H. L. Mencken baby war peace The cosmos is a gigantic flywheel making 10,000 revolutions per minute. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it. H. L. Mencken freedom sick men Penetrating so many secrets, we cease to believe in the unknowable. But there it sits nevertheless, calmly licking its chops H. L. Mencken believe knowledge art Who will argue that 98.6 Farenheit is the right temperature for man? As for me, I decline to do it. It may be that we are all actually freezing hence the pervading stupidity of mankind. At 110 or 115 degrees even archbishops might be intelligent. H. L. Mencken stupidity intelligent men I devoured hot-dogs in Baltimore 'way back in 1886, and they were then very far from newfangled...They contained precisely the same rubber, indigestible pseudo-sausages that millions of Americans now eat, and they leaked the same flabby, puerile mustard. Their single point of difference lay in the fact that their covers were honest German Wecke made of wheat-flour baked to crispiness, and not the soggy rolls prevailing today, of ground acorns, plaster-of-Paris, flecks of bath-sponge, and atmospheric air all compact. H. L. Mencken differences dog food I hope I need not confess that a large part of my stock in trade consists of platitudes rescued from the cobwebbed shelves of yesterday... This borrowing and refurbishing of shop-worn goods, as a matter of fact, is the invariable habit of traders in ideas, at all times and everywhere. It is not, however, that all the conceivable human notions have been thought out; it is simply, to be quite honest, that the sort of men who volunteer to think out new ones seldom, if ever, have wind enough for a full day's work. H. L. Mencken wind men thinking Haste is of the devil. Slowness is of God. H. L. Mencken slowness devil haste Here is something that the psychologists have so far neglected: the love of ugliness for its own sake, the lust to make the world intolerable. Its habitat is the United States. Out of the melting pot emerges a race which hates beauty as it hates truth. H. L. Mencken hate race lust [Science] must be amoral by its very nature: The minute it begins separating facts into the two categories of good ones and bad ones it ceases to be science and becomes a mere nuisance, like theology. H. L. Mencken nuisance two facts For the habitual truth-teller and truth-seeker, indeed, the whole world has very little liking. He is always unpopular. H. L. Mencken truth-seekers littles world Socialism: nothing more than the theory that the slave is always more virtuous than his master. H. L. Mencken socialism slave theory I believe that no discovery of fact, however trivial, can be wholly useless to the race, and that no trumpeting of falsehood, however virtuous in intent, can be anything but vicious. H. L. Mencken race discovery believe The most curious social convention of the great age in which we live is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected. Its evil effects must be plain enough to everyone. All it accomplishes is (a) to throw a veil of sanctity about ideas that violate every intellectual decency, and (b) to make every theologian a sort of chartered libertine. No doubt it is mainly to blame for the appalling slowness with which really sound notions make their way in the world. H. L. Mencken religious evil ideas Freedom of press is limited to those who own one. H. L. Mencken freedom political funny
