In Baltimore, soft crabs are always fried (or broiled) in the altogether, with maybe a small jock-strap of bacon added. H. L. Mencken More Quotes by H. L. Mencken More Quotes From H. L. Mencken Truth would quickly cease to be stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it. H. L. Mencken freedom truth philosophy I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind. H. L. Mencken religious believe religion As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. H. L. Mencken hate heart love The martini: the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet. H. L. Mencken invention drinking perfect It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. H. L. Mencken wisdom wise running What we need in this country is a general improvement in eating. We have the best raw materials in the world, both quantitatively and qualitatively, but most of them are ruined in the process of preparing them for the table. H. L. Mencken tables country world Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly. H. L. Mencken machines beautiful men The great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable. H. L. Mencken ymca world art Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing. H. L. Mencken effort knowing literature Honor is simply the morality of superior men. H. L. Mencken honor character men I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. H. L. Mencken humor inspirational funny The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore. H. L. Mencken proof atheism religion Democracy is grounded upon so childish a complex of fallacies that they must be protected by a rigid system of taboos, else even halfwits would argue it to pieces. Its first concern must be to penalize the free play of ideas. H. L. Mencken democracy play ideas the average man does not want to be free. he simply wants to be safe. H. L. Mencken freedom average men When I die, I shall be content to vanish into nothingness.... No show, however good, could conceivably be good forever I do not believe in immortality, and have no desire for it. H. L. Mencken atheist forever believe Jury - A group of 12 people, who, having lied to the judge about their health, hearing, and business engagements, have failed to fool him. H. L. Mencken groups judging people All American wars (except the Civil War) have been fought with the odds overwhelmingly in favor of the Americans. In the history of armed combat such affairs as the Mexican and Spanish-American Wars must be ranked, not as wars at all, but as organized assassinations. In the two World Wars, no American faced a bullet until his adversaries had been worn down by years of fighting others. H. L. Mencken fighting war peace There is no idea so stupid that you can't find a professor who will believe it. H. L. Mencken stupid believe ideas It costs more to maintain ten vices than one virtue. H. L. Mencken virtue cost vices At a time when the respectable bourgeois youngsters of my generation were college freshmen, oppressed by simian sophomores and affronted with balderdash daily and hourly by chalky pedagogues, I was at large in a wicked seaport of half a million people, with a front seat at every public show, as free of the night as of day, and getting earfuls of instruction in a hundred giddy arcana, none of them taught in schools.... [But] if I neglected the humanities, I was meanwhile laying in all the worldly wisdom of a police lieutenant, a bartender, a shyster lawyer, or a midwife. H. L. Mencken education night school