Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana? Henny Youngman More Quotes by Henny Youngman More Quotes From Henny Youngman The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail. Henny Youngman lovelyhumorfunny If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas. Henny Youngman humorlifefunny My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable. Henny Youngman horsehomefunny I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five. Henny Youngman gamblinghorsepast You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler. Henny Youngman insulthumorfunny I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. Henny Youngman i-can-do-iteyecan-do Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, 'I hope it doesn't rain today. I hate it when the children play inside. Henny Youngman haterainchildren I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off! Henny Youngman humormenfunny My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo. Henny Youngman familybrotherfunny A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food. Henny Youngman teenagebabyinspirational The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window! Henny Youngman humorkeysfunny I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings! Henny Youngman humorfunnytwo Take my wife... Please! Henny Youngman my-wifepleasewife A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out. Henny Youngman humorkeysfunny Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to. Henny Youngman humormenfunny I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller. Henny Youngman vegasgamblingairplane A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up. Henny Youngman humormenfunny A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters. Henny Youngman motelsdollarsgiving-up I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free? Henny Youngman idiotpaid My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better. Henny Youngman my-wifesense-of-humorwife
