It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere. George Burns More Quotes by George Burns More Quotes From George Burns At my age flowers scare me. George Burns flower birthday funny Be quick to learn and wise to know. George Burns learning wise inspirational I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up. George Burns playboy glasses witty This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. George Burns guy two book From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train. George Burns paris humorous funny If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl. George Burns ugly married girl Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it. George Burns later-in-life humorous funny This is all so exciting I've decided to keep making one movie every 36 years. George Burns decided exciting years When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. George Burns scotch rocks party I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned. George Burns fishing men years Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . . George Burns humorous funny mean I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands. George Burns drink coffee hands Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years. George Burns waiting trying years Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don't wear anything else on it ... like lunch or dinner. George Burns lunch dresses advice Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do. George Burns setting-goals business goal How can I die? I'm booked. George Burns humor age funny People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways - I'm still making movies, and I'm a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price. George Burns senior two people When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age. George Burns aging vitality age Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere. George Burns cute birthday funny If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer. George Burns comedian littles laughing