jokes I hope there is no electric chair in prison, that my hair will be ruined. I don't want to look like a rock musician in the morgue. Penis and wit work like yin and yang, which is why humanity continues to multiply. I can’t go back to this family, they don’t have body hair, and they smile all the time, as if they went to the dolphinarium. Maybe you can explain this to your wife, straight to the crematorium, or her mom in the terrarium. Hit the barrel safety, she's married. The inscription on the fart pillow: the big bang theory. And how you managed to marry her, her girlfriend at the wedding, advised me to unbutton a couple of bra buttons, a pull-up bra, you can not explain further. This is not a mattress, this is my husband. In depression, you seize stress, then grease the corners to crawl through the door, you create claustrophobia in people. Technological ideas Miracle pants, vibration impulses help to feel an infinite number of partners in their bodies and genitals, and a helmet to see them, for example, for a guy with girls, he has a billion girls online, he is now having sex simultaneously with a billion girls and women around the world. He feels them all. The same option for girls. The global sex internet network can connect all of humanity. This ray gun acts like a via gra, that is, an erection will be under any conditions, it can last for a week, a month, a year, there are modes. Sex is like a race, the one who was used will come to the finish line second. Why is the gesture of the middle finger depicted on the coffin, because he was lonely. Girls are fascinated by the face of a guy, yours acts like ammonia from fainting, like garlic for a vampire, like I don’t eat that, but I already understood. Wages in Kazakhstan are like grocery shopping, a chocolate bar costs more than some juices, something that should cost less costs more (prestigious, but humiliating). Have you seen her claws? Are you afraid of dying from a slap or a tickle. Driving lessons for women. The penis is like a gearbox to achieve goals. See, she has a driver's license, full rights to his finances. He breathes so hard when he talks, I'm afraid he'll blow me out. Creation? This is when you make a sandwich, remix flavors, feel like a DJ. Yes? And you need a selfie stick to take a picture of your face. Don't worry, you'll find your girlfriend. You heard your baby said that I was a poop, well, she's small, yes, and your second daughter said that my face is a scribble-balyaka, well, you shouldn't have gone to boxing. Oh, the administration is you, I always confuse you with a toilet Why is my head hurting again? The memory disk is full of stupidity. Alco temptation tester With age, you shrink with a flag on your head so as not to be crushed What is it like to have insanity? Like a lettuce vinaigrette made of drugs, everything is slow-mo, you're in the middle of teddy bears Well, how do you like sex with her, he says after me everything hurt, I could not unzip Kamasutra with your wallet How can I stop loving her? Chemical castration Why do you have a drug lord written over your vagina to get hooked, have a sex addiction and bring a salary from work The inscription on the fart pillow the big bang theory big badda boom Chattering jaws on the floor from the joke shop, your wife's girlfriends are chatting, envious piranhas want to snatch a piece Why do you have a piggy bank written over your vagina? you know You gave your ex-girlfriend ten thousand dollars? Here she will be surprised when she sees in the exchanger that they are souvenirs from a joke shop. There was nothing to throw me How to find a girlfriend? And what do the aikyu scales show. Like the scales of love You wear dark glasses all the time, you hide your emotions, glasses. You lost your pride in cards Why fat people like to be photographed next to a large poison, for them it's food porn You bit the poor girl, I'm sorry, just the food was on her naked body, I was hungry Are you overdoing, overdoing? He wanted to say distort. Young people learn the language of politeness. Well, your son is overdoing it again. Well, you see they have a happy marriage, she also has a diploma in a trainer psychologist. But he jumps into bed with the overtone of ale op. Pre-wedding depression. Come on, you will rewind most of your life, from the comfort zone to the strict regime zone. Your left hemisphere is very smooth like a trampoline. Economic recovery, but like an erection, an economic riser. Author: Musin Almat Zhumabekovich

More Quotes by Musin Almat Zhumabekovich

Time and the subconscious Time is a quantum, psychological trap of our subconsciousness in which the script of our life is built, our fate is programmed by our subconscious. 2. The sand aesthetics of our mind The wind of inevitability draws memories in the sand and falls asleep with new waves of stories. And the way he does it is the whole art of the philosophy of awareness. The sand aesthetics that our mind draws is washed away by oblivion. And this shows that the mind has no values, because everything undergoes oblivion disappears into oblivion and everything is immersed in newness. 3. Rock music Rock is a high tension of adrenaline in the strings of a rock guitar, it lives and bleeds and the soul soars into the sky, melodies passing from darkness to light. Inferno of blazing anger in the grinding of metal, burns everything around. 4. Insanity is the sweet lie of our minds compared to the truth of sanity. 5. The brain is bleeding from awareness in the inner bio-quantum chamber, in which the organism of the personality is grown, which believes that it has lived for eternity. 6. Dreams are an illusory projection of the deepening of the paradoxical space in life, where the wings of imagination are constrained by the fear of submission both in reality and in a dream. 7. Cunning is poverty of the mind. 8. Dreams are vile jokes of our minds, they are comical self-hatred. Symbolic, philosophical allegories expressed in bright colors of self-irony. 9. The asylum is the abode of society's broken toys. The asylum is the abode of society's broken toys. 2. Life in a mental hospital of the human world Constant rebirth in reincarnation and the wheel of samsara, Life is a bio-quantum incubator for the accelerated growth of personality, a hyper accelerated awareness for a century, which seems to have lived an eternity, in a chamber in which the gas of someone else's madness. Eternity in the asylum of the human world drives even the most reasonable ones crazy. Others evolve and transform into angels in human flesh. 3. Precious and semi-precious stones give energy that is transformed into philosophy. 4. Forgotten people Thousands and thousands of drowned souls in oblivion and enemies and friends. A mountain was formed, the top of which a man sits, on the mountain from the corpses of forgotten and erased people who made up the main content of life. 5. Loneliness of man Loneliness is the loose sands of selfishness. You are being pulled deeper into your own egoism of loneliness and it becomes more difficult to pull you out over time. You merge with reality. You get used to loneliness to such an extent that you cannot get used to someone, you are used to sleeping alone, and you cannot sleep when a representative of the opposite sex is sleeping in your bed. 6. Life is a movie take Life is a cinema industry of incriminating evidence of higher powers, constant rebirths of reincarnation are endless movie takes. In front of lies or hypocrisy, a numbering clapper announces the scene of a comic sketch of self-deception. 7. Fear is the prelude to truth. Fear is the fear of the truth. 8. Analytical thinking is the third eye 9. Marriage is like a playhouse, only suitable for a certain adulthood. 10. Vanity is infantilism in a rope, the main thing here is imagination. Reality is an infernal black comedy of truth, ironic black humor of a scenario of life, where justice is just sarcasm. Thoughts are lightning, the mystical fire of the universe. Science plays the board game Doctor, they know that the human body is the main key to the secrets of the universe and existence itself, but immortality will give the most important secret of life, and it will tell you that over time a person does not value anything, he is just a spectator and a consumer with popcorn, which symbolizes values, for a pessimist it is salty, for an optimist, sweet caramel hedonism. The game of caps of values ​​of intergenerational generations is a war of illusion. Fantasy as endless facets of imagination Geek dice for board games, imagination is an attempt to know oneself and at the same time a great denial of true reality. Imagination is a fog of illusion drugs. Consciousness is a starship in an infinite space of thoughts, a multi-dimensional universe of various levels of awareness. Body modification and plastic surgery, etc., this is an escape from the true self, from its essence from its own perfection given by God. This immersion in the endless illusions of the ego, pride and vanity is a parody of your self, you paint your portrait from the lower feelings. Pride, ego, vanity are all fear, a thirst to materialize in history, in a world where everything is forgotten - this is the only thing that connects you with the tiny world of people, abandoning them you will know the infinity of the universe. Love, selfless nobility and forgiveness are the immortality of humanity. Higher awareness is the highest dimension of love. Awareness is the subconscious wormholes that reveal the future. Hatred belittles you, as it is just a drop of disappointment in the ocean of indifference. Honest people are sappers. You may remain a virgin for life, but you will be a rich virgin. Protect yourself from anger. Humor is like a condom in your pocket, you never know when you need it. A comedian is a cucumber in a jar, he pickles for a long time with his inadequate, but funny life. The heart is a mature mind. Whereas the brain with its instincts will always be a child. Obsession is a thought on the grill. In the layout of greed. The essence of the continuation of progress, that is, the banquet of hedonism, is colonization. Create an artificial paradise of illusions and dreams and turn it into a business. Illusion is a win-win business. Many ghosts - this is a memory, a ghost is the philosophical thought of the universe about life experience. The city is a camp for refugees from reality and from the very endlessness of life. It is not only our organism that has a machine structure, but our modern culture is becoming a mechanized association. Filigree study of human behavior, modified by socialization. All this turns us into soulless robots of society. Only the aware one knows the jungle of a loved one. The human world is the result of a sick imagination of illusions, consisting of fear and despair. The illusion of the ego, which diminishes consciousness. There are billions of worlds, just choose your own, this is what makes us lonely, since a foreign world for us is a wild exotic of misunderstanding. Since one ego does not understand the other, the illusion of uniqueness. Because it is awareness that we have in common and makes us equal and deprives us of the ego. Our mind has cartoonish thinking, surreal logic of selfishness. That is why news is cartoons. People who undergo plastic surgery are like cartoons. Autumn is the maturity of thoughtfulness, the golden sunset of life. Talents at the bottom, only sociopaths at the top. Art forms a single, common mentality among all mankind. 2. The meaning of life is in the cyclical timing. In a recurring film, having seen it several hundred or thousand times, you will understand the hidden meaning of being. The secret of life is like annoying advertising in front of your face, which offers its benefits, that is, a strong family. 3. Violins sound nervously like the buzzing of bees - these are thoughts. Spontaneity is the bridge of consciousness to the subconscious of the true self, that is, sincerity. 5. The level of intelligence is determined in the level of awareness, in the depth of insight. Many people do not have enough intelligence to give up the illusion of complexes. 6. Money sharpens predatory reflexes like a blade. 7. Life consumes you. 8. Mercantile people in love see only benefit, but not truth. 9. Selfishness is a state of stagnation. 10. Loneliness is a cocoon of self-discovery. Having found himself, a person will never be alone. 11. Without knowing the path of the body, philosophy becomes meaningless. 12. The less testosterone, the more you enjoy being alone. 13. We feel the world much deeper in solitude. The essence of the truth of reality will give loneliness. 14. Detachment from this world turns you into a spectator and you learn the depths of awareness. Loneliness is like death, as if you died to society. They see you as a ghost. 15. Loneliness is the inner self-improvement of the soul. For the most part, you feel the soul. And you feel the world at a particularly subtle level of consciousness. 16. Loneliness is an endless journey where every stop is like a life lesson. Without a final stop in the circle of the cycle of life. 17. All locks of pride fell under the yoke of profit. Author: Musin Almat Zhumabekovich