Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you. Kristen Schaal More Quotes by Kristen Schaal More Quotes From Kristen Schaal All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground. Kristen Schaal all-the-bestmiddlecutting Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes. Kristen Schaal girlfriendeyefunny I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows. Kristen Schaal hilariousgrowing-upanimal As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex. Kristen Schaal humorfunnysex Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty. Kristen Schaal guyhumorfunny I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life. Kristen Schaal knowledgeableareassweet I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater. Kristen Schaal humorfunnymean I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually. Kristen Schaal goatshumorfunny Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys? Kristen Schaal humormenfunny Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather. Kristen Schaal nicerainfunny You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome. Kristen Schaal handsomehumorfunny Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print. Kristen Schaal printsarcasmsarcastic I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can. Kristen Schaal lonelyhomewriting I'd hate to be a writer forever and never perform, and I'd hate to perform and not write. I get sad if time has passed and I haven't written or made anything. I'm an artist. Kristen Schaal hateartistwriting I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else. Kristen Schaal ifswriting Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free. Kristen Schaal humorblowfunny If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes. Kristen Schaal humorbeerfunny I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world! Kristen Schaal humorfunnyreality At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it. Kristen Schaal airplanehumorfunny I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome. Kristen Schaal humorlonelinessfunny
