Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard. Lewis Grizzard More Quotes by Lewis Grizzard More Quotes From Lewis Grizzard I'm a staunch believer in enterprise, and I'm glad I live in a country where - I don't think some people understand this, but if I work hard, I get rewarded for it. Lewis Grizzard work-hardunderstandworkpeople You can write the best column in the world on Monday, and it does you absolutely no good on Tuesday. There is no way to win. You just write until you are tired, they fire you, or you die. Lewis Grizzard bestgoodyoufire I went last week to get hypnotized. To quit smoking. And the hypnotist said, 'The reason you smoke is you're bitter and depressed.' No, the reason I smoke is the little sucker tastes so good. Lewis Grizzard goodyousmokesmoking I don't think I'm a bigot or a racist. But I have a truck, a Blazer. I drink beer. There are some women I do hate. Lewis Grizzard thinkwomenhatebeer I was raised to think women had babies, stayed at home, and men worked. By the time I got ready to do it, I thought I had all the answers. Only somebody had changed the questions. Lewis Grizzard womenhometimemen The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wiggle out of one. Lewis Grizzard forgivemistakeswilltrying Things are more complex today, and I think humor has changed a a great deal. People are more sensitive today. Lewis Grizzard greathumortodaypeople I wish one time in my life I could do what other writers do... get me a villa in Spain and go there to write a book. Lewis Grizzard my-lifemetimelife A little irreverence is always important to being a columnist. I try to do that. Lewis Grizzard trybeingalwaysimportant Show business is my life. Lewis Grizzard showmy-lifebusinesslife I write 200 columns a year, you know. That means I have to have 200 opinions a year. Sometimes, I don't give a damn one way or the other, but that's my job, so I got to take a side. Lewis Grizzard jobyousometimesway I gave 738 Rotary Club speeches, and it was just driving me crazy, so someone said, 'Why don't you charge money?' Lewis Grizzard meyoucrazymoney I don't know how I do it, but I've written about everything. I've written about my shoes. Lewis Grizzard howeverythingknowshoes I'd like to know what I could do if I really had the time to spend on writing a book, with no columns or shows to do at the same time. Lewis Grizzard knowwritingtimebook I think people are a lot more sensitive than they used to be, and quite rightly so. I don't think we should be using racial jokes and things like that. Lewis Grizzard thingsthinkjokespeople The South is the last place with a sense of place. Lewis Grizzard senselastplacesouth
