My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton. Chic Murray More Quotes by Chic Murray More Quotes From Chic Murray A luxury meal was prairie sandwiches - two slices of bread with wide-open spaces between them. Chic Murray luxuryhumorfunny A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on. Chic Murray humormenfunny I felt as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section. Chic Murray stringshumorfunny It was a pretty posh place. They were so used to fur coats that two bears strolled in and ordered lunch and nobody even noticed. Chic Murray humorfunnytwo I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to. Chic Murray humorteacherfunny I first met my wife in the tunnel of love. She was digging it at the time. Chic Murray tunnelshumorfunny There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones. Not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed. Chic Murray humorfunnylooks I was out walking the other evening. This fellow accosted me, and asked if that was the moon up there in the sky. I replied that I had no idea, as I was a stranger there myself. Chic Murray humormoonfunny Kippers : fish that like a lot of sleep. Chic Murray humorsleepfunny A neighbour put his budgerigar in the mincing machine and invented shredded tweet. Chic Murray machineshumorfunny We were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements. Chic Murray luxuryhumorfunny If something's neither here nor there, where the hell is it? Chic Murray hellhumorfunny She had been married so often she bought a drip-dry wedding dress. Chic Murray funny-marriagedrydresses
