My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us. Erma Bombeck More Quotes by Erma Bombeck More Quotes From Erma Bombeck Cats invented self-esteem. Erma Bombeck catself-esteemself He who laughs.....lasts. Erma Bombeck happinessinspirationalfunny It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. Erma Bombeck couragedreamkindness There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in. Erma Bombeck actingdreampeople I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive. Erma Bombeck laughtervoicethinking The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Erma Bombeck funny-lifehilariousfood It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have...One pair that see through closed doors. Another in the back of her head...and, of course, the ones in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and reflect 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word. Erma Bombeck mommotherchildren All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. Erma Bombeck funny-inspirationalparentingchildren My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? Erma Bombeck blockfirefunny I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night. Erma Bombeck one-daynightthinking There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. Erma Bombeck christmasspiritualmorning Friends are "annuals" that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a "perennial" that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them. Erma Bombeck funny-friendshipgardenyears It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice. Erma Bombeck boxesfoodmean Children make your life important. Erma Bombeck importantliteraturechildren I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. Erma Bombeck buzzardscarinspiration Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden. Erma Bombeck womenseems Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged. Erma Bombeck eludeboredrunning Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy. Erma Bombeck designfashionliterature Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises. Erma Bombeck surprisespontaneitywonderful If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. Erma Bombeck footballsoccersports
