Never judge someone by who he's in love with judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals. Cynthia Heimel More Quotes by Cynthia Heimel More Quotes From Cynthia Heimel [On peanut M&Ms:] It is the eggness of them. A shell, chocolate placenta, proteiny peanut baby. Life shape, birth shape, cell shape, protoplasmic-ooze shape. A shape that calls straight through civilization to our reptilian brains. Cynthia Heimel cells food baby Dogs and humans are symbiotic species. We need each other. Cynthia Heimel we-need-each-other dog needs You know what we can be like: see a guy and think he's cute one minute, the next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him having an extramarital affair. By the time someone says, 'I'd like you to meet Cecil,' we shout, 'You're late again with the child support!' Cynthia Heimel cute kids children When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. Cynthia Heimel april-fools fools-day doubt The Pain-Free Shopping Method: Buy a present for you, then a present for a friend. Then another present for you. Then a present for a friend. Then two presents for you. Then a present for a friend. Then go home, get into bed, and pull up the covers. Cynthia Heimel shopping pain home When women are excited about a date, they go immediately on a diet, because all women know they are hideously obese. Cynthia Heimel obese excited weight All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others. Cynthia Heimel dog silly funny This is New York, a combat zone, and everyone has to have an angle or they're not allowed over the bridges or through the tunnels. Let them have their angles, it's what they live for. You've got better things to worry about, like making sure the people that actually matter don't try any funny stuff. Cynthia Heimel tunnels bridges new-york It seems to me, correct me if I'm wrong, that there are an awful lot of people in Manhattan. And it's getting worse. Cynthia Heimel manhattan awful people Homework, root canals, and deadlines are the important things in life, and only when we have these major dramas taken care of can we presume to look at the larger questions. Cynthia Heimel taken roots drama Contrary to popular cable TV-induced opinion, aerobics have nothing to do with squeezing our body into hideous shiny Spandex, grinning like a deranged orangutan, and doing cretinous steps to debauched disco music. Cynthia Heimel disco-music cable-tv fitness You can't take away knowledge, and it's dangerous to pretend you never had it. Cynthia Heimel dangerous Men, being conditioned badly, are always feeling nooses closing around their necks, even dumpy boors no girl would take on a bet. Cynthia Heimel women girl feelings a car is just a moving, giant handbag! You never have actually to carry groceries, or dry cleaning, or anything! You can have five pairs of shoes with you at all times! Cynthia Heimel dry-cleaning shoes moving Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing. Cynthia Heimel clothes men fall A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk. Cynthia Heimel comedian comedy demon Not one woman over seventeen has any faith in her skin tone, and no woman over thirty can ever regard her upper arms with equanimity. Cynthia Heimel skin-tone skins body [On her dogs:] I have four now. My friends tell me if I get any more they'll have to hold an intervention. Cynthia Heimel intervention four dog I remember the day we were hanging around the band's commune and Roger came in with the press kit for a rock band (Moby Grape) any of us had ever seen. It looked psychedelic, yet it was done by ad people. I believe the word "hype" was coined on that very day. Cynthia Heimel rocks humorous believe Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores. Cynthia Heimel clean lingerie kitchen
