. . . Now you see . . . they' re not fit for humans . . ." "Put t... by Steve Martin

. . . Now you see . . . they' re not fit for humans . . ." "Put them on me.

Steve Martin

Image Embed Code

Categorized in : Humans Fit

When I first started doing my comedy act, I just desperately needed material. So I took literally everything I knew how to do on stage with me, which was juggling, magic and banjo and my little comedy routines. I always felt the audience sorta tolerated the serious musical parts while I was doing my comedy.

magic musical littles

When I was in college, I was debating to try my hand at show business, or to become a professor. I just thought of the risk of not going into show business and always wondering if I would've had a chance. Because that's where my real heart was.

real college heart

Or is it that I think too much? by Steve Martin

Or is it that I think too much?

too-much thinking

I have no fear, no fear at all. I wake up, and I have no fear. I go to bed without fear. Fear, fear, fear, fear. Yes, 'fear' is a word that is not in my vocabulary.

wake-up vocabulary bed

They want me on the television shows now because I did so well on... by Steve Martin

They want me on the television shows now because I did so well on Celebrity Assholes.

want fame television

I'm 48. For a while after 'The Jerk' (movie) I had a feeling of failure. I was a little scared. First people discover you and they love you. You get big and then you fail. And people are glad that you fail. But I've always come back and I've started to trust myself.

failure love-you people

It is the perfect wrong time for Jeremy to do to Mirabelle what she had done to him - call him up for a quick fix - because;, in a sense, she is now betrothed. Her first date with someone who treated her well obligates her to faithfulness, at least until the relationship is explored.

done perfect firsts

she is nearing forty and not so easily forgiven as when her skin... by Steve Martin

she is nearing forty and not so easily forgiven as when her skin bloomed like roses.

forgiven skins rose

I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday... unless there's a game on.

humor funny believe

With a cheery delicacy she divided my obsessions into three categories: acceptable, unacceptable, and hilarious.

delicacy obsession three

There are few takers for the quiet heart. by Steve Martin

There are few takers for the quiet heart.

quiet-heart heart quiet

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey by Steve Martin

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey

There is something going on now in Mexico that I happen to think is cruelty to animals. What I'm talking about, of course, is cat juggling.

cat animal thinking

The only thing that bothers me is if I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, 'Hey, mind if I smoke?' I always say, 'No. Mind if I fart?

hey smoking mind

She looked down again and I was stymied. I sat. Oh, this was enough to make me love her, because I was right with her, understanding every second and longing to step in. I didn’t even need to know the specific that was troubling her, because to me her halting voice easily stood for the general woe that hangs in the air, even on life’s happiest days.

voice understanding air

Mirabelle replaces the absent friends with books and television mysteries of the PBS kind. The books are mostly nineteenth-century novels in which women are poisoned or are doing the poisoning. She does not read these books as a romantic lonely hearts turning pages in the isolation of her room, not at all. She is instead an educated spirit with a sense of irony. She loves the gloom of these period novels, especially as kitsch, but beneath it all she finds that a part of her indentifies with all that darkness.

lonely heart book

Reviews for someone like me come in three packages. One is justifiable praise, the second is justifiable criticism, and the third is, "This is only published because he's a celebrity."

three criticism praise

You know, there's a moment when you're famous when it's unbearable to go out because you're too famous. And then there's a moment when you're famous just right.

unbearable moments fame

The emotions of men, however, were of a different order. They were pesky annoyances, small dust devils at her feet. Her knack for causing heartbreak was innate, but her vitality often made people forgive her romantic misdeeds.

Always...no wait...never. by Steve Martin

Always...no wait...never.