O money, money, money. I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly. Ogden Nash More Quotes by Ogden Nash More Quotes From Ogden Nash Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after. Ogden Nash differences time war A bird in the open never looks Like its picture in the birdie books - Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage, And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage. Ogden Nash ignorant bird book An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks. Ogden Nash learning wife men Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer Ogden Nash funny-money banking bankers O thrice unhappy home Whose master doesn't know the difference between a watt and an ohm! Ogden Nash differences unhappy home The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two; Or else the other way around; I'm never sure. Are you? Ogden Nash camels two way Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. Ogden Nash cute men life Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead. Ogden Nash sheep sleep people Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch. Ogden Nash tiles scratches men Time is like the ocean, always there, always different. Ogden Nash ocean inspiration time A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus. Ogden Nash marriage husband men The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile. Ogden Nash clever life sex When a lady's erotic life is vexed God knows what God is coming next. Ogden Nash erotic next sex Good wine needs no bush, Ogden Nash wine humorous people A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard. Ogden Nash oil cooking food Women would rather be right than reasonable. Ogden Nash women inspiration funny A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her. Ogden Nash like-her ifs want The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Ogden Nash stupid heart fun A bit of talcum Is always walcum. Ogden Nash bits Every new year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals? Ogden Nash new-year long years