Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story. Adam Carolla More Quotes by Adam Carolla More Quotes From Adam Carolla I've always boxed, I always taught boxing. Adam Carolla taught boxing People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.' Adam Carolla smart college white If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was? Adam Carolla what-if joy thinking The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing. Adam Carolla hate would-be thinking I'm a comedian, not a politician. Adam Carolla comedian politician People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful. Adam Carolla successful stupid people I'd never hurt another person. Adam Carolla persons hurt I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs. Adam Carolla guy want needs I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid. Adam Carolla dad humor funny Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff. Adam Carolla emotional guy stuff I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican. Adam Carolla democrat republican used Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it. Adam Carolla ymca basketball inspirational I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women. Adam Carolla issues daughter mother Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays. Adam Carolla juniors college school When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust. Adam Carolla mountain feet country If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place. Adam Carolla hollywood people needs I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Adam Carolla radio stuff television My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine. Adam Carolla welfare mom kind You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself. Adam Carolla accomplishment feel-good should I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings. Adam Carolla nice hurt people
