One legged chickens, I know, are the least apt to scratch a garden. Josh Billings More Quotes by Josh Billings More Quotes From Josh Billings Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. Josh Billings comedy faith men The lion and the lamb may, possibly, sumtime lay down in this world together for a fu minnits, but when the lion kums tew git up, the lamb will be missing. Josh Billings missing together world Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got. Josh Billings women comedy lost What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul I suppose this depends somewhat upon the size of the soul. I think there are cases where the trade would do. Josh Billings wise men thinking Silence is a still noise. Josh Billings silence-is silence noise Building air castles is a harmless business as long as you don't attempt to live in them. Josh Billings business air long It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good. Josh Billings purpose wise men Admiration is a youthful fancy will which scarcely ever survives to mature years. Josh Billings admiration fancy years The easiest thing for our friends to discover in us, and the hardest thing for us to discover in ourselves, is that we are growing old. Josh Billings hardest growing age Pedigrees seldom improve by age; the grandson is too often a weak infringement on the grandsire's parent. Josh Billings ancestry parent age When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool. Josh Billings fool mind men Silence is said to be golden, but the best fools the world has ever produced had nothing to say on the subject Josh Billings golden silence world Pity cost nothing and ain't worth nothing. Josh Billings pity cost It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow. Josh Billings profit wise men Liberty, like chastity, once lost, can never be regained in its original purity. Josh Billings liberty humor integrity Men are seldom underrated; the mercury in a man finds its true level in the eyes of the world just as certainly as it does in the glass of a thermometer. Josh Billings eye appreciation men I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time. Josh Billings time life long I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money. Josh Billings next money funny It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money. Josh Billings sarcasm money sarcastic The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it. Josh Billings business happiness funny