One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin More Quotes by George Carlin More Quotes From George Carlin We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. George Carlin communication too-much hate I like good ideas. I don't want just do something for it's own sake to bother people, but if I can bother them with a logical argument about something they have agreed to in society simplistically - like children are sacred, the cult of the child, this cult of professional parenthood, and of course religion, and respect for policemen and the law, and all of these untouchable areas. I like attacking those beliefs, but in with good sound thinking, and an unusual approach. George Carlin law children thinking Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin money work funny Soft rock music isn't rock, and it ain't music. It's just soft. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, "You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala." George Carlin rocks stupid teacher The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel. George Carlin army drug soldier We're not supposed to mention f***ing in mixed company, but that's exactly where it takes place. George Carlin company humorous There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan. George Carlin ku-klux-klan atheist doubt When you start in the childhood period, when you begin to form a comic sense, it was the radio comedians - from the last days of radio and the first days of television. And Spike Jones. And the Marx Brothers. They represented anarchy. They took things that were nice and decent and proper, and they tore them to shreds. That attracted me. George Carlin childhood nice brother The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the intellect. George Carlin limits ideas thinking Griddle cakes, pancakes, hot cakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love? George Carlin cake names hot One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired. George Carlin stupid pregnancy funny The god excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument. George Carlin lasts answers men If you had chicken at lunch and chicken at dinner, do you ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other? George Carlin dinner lunch two To me, fast food is when a cheetah eats an antelope. George Carlin cheetahs fast-food humorous Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom. George Carlin hell age pay I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin humor funny father I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. George Carlin should-have funny thinking The Baby Boomers: whiny, narcissistic, self-indulgent people with a simple philosophy: "Gimme that! It's mine!" George Carlin simple baby philosophy I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade. George Carlin guy stupid people If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? George Carlin humor pigs funny
