People always snap and think they're Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they're Buddha? Bill Hicks More Quotes by Bill Hicks More Quotes From Bill Hicks The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options. Bill Hicks revolutionary-ideas forgiving suffering I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, "I did it! Hey!" Bill Hicks usa iraq mean People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?' Bill Hicks shotguns phrases people BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book. Bill Hicks stupidity phones book But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass. Bill Hicks miracle wonderful sex Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags. Bill Hicks cigarette-smoke eye smoking I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage. Bill Hicks humor blow funny I'm not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up: 'STRATFORD SUCKS!' Am I supposed to run after these guys? I'd just stand there, you know. They'd back up. 'STRATFORD SUCKS! ...STRATFORD SUCKS!' I'd say, 'I know. I go there. You're wasting gas, man. Bill Hicks running men kids Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority. Bill Hicks redneck cancer heart People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally. Bill Hicks running america people It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick. Bill Hicks card-tricks dog cards You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved? Bill Hicks creationism believe looks Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows. Bill Hicks music-is music language I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place. Bill Hicks insight way world Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it. Bill Hicks humor military funny ....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week. Bill Hicks rich drug war Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. Bill Hicks answers helping people I love talking about Kennedy assassination...a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government...sorry, wrong meeting. Bill Hicks government sorry talking What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's gonna fuck up the economy! The economy that's fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government's cracking down... on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah. Bill Hicks arms realizing government What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion? Bill Hicks abortion
