People say I'm a nice girl saying terrible things. I tend to say the opposite of what I think. You hope that the absolute power of that transcends, and reaches the audience. Sarah Silverman More Quotes by Sarah Silverman More Quotes From Sarah Silverman Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic! Sarah Silverman daddy believe jesus I was going to get an abortion the other day. Sarah Silverman abortion humor funny I was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the many inconveniences of this paradox I lived with -the more people I was surrounded by, the more frighteningly alone I felt. Sarah Silverman unbearable kids people I will always try to be happy. I don’t think people really understand the value of happiness until they know what it’s like to be in that very, very dark place. It’s not romantic. Not even a little. Sarah Silverman dark people thinking When you’re a bed wetter there’s only one group of people you can feel better than, bed shitters, and unfortunately they’re hard to come by. Sarah Silverman bed feel-better people I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin. Sarah Silverman humor funny thinking When I was 9 or 10 years old, my dad took me over to a neighboring farm to help get stuff for the meal. The farmer, Vic, told me to look at all the turkeys and pick one out. I saw a cute one with a silly walk and cried, 'Him!' Before my pointing finger had even dropped to my side, Vic had grabbed the turkey by the neck and slit [the animal's] throat. Blood and feathers went flying. I had sentenced that turkey to death! Up until then, I didn't know where meat came from—and I've been a vegetarian ever since. Sarah Silverman dad silly cute I really think everything is fair game. Sarah Silverman comedy games thinking And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school. Sarah Silverman dad funny art I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl. Sarah Silverman doctors girl funny When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach. Sarah Silverman episodes acting stars Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me. Sarah Silverman smell impact crazy If I have kids, I'll adopt. Sarah Silverman ifs kids I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core. Sarah Silverman holocaust humor funny I like my life alone. Sarah Silverman Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine. Sarah Silverman squash want men They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle. Sarah Silverman uncles parent fun But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough. Sarah Silverman humor funny thinking Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is 'Sleepers,' so I wasn't really taken to children's movies. Sarah Silverman growing-up taken children I do love the idea of ritual. Sarah Silverman ritual ideas