Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either. Mark Twain lectures college brain ...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people. Mark Twain humor men travel Suppose . . . burglars had made entry into this . . . [library]. Picture them seated here on this floor, pouring the light of their dark-lanterns over some books they found, and thus absorbing moral truths and getting moral uplift. The whole course of their lives would have been changed. As it was, they kept straight on in their immoral way and were sent to jail. For all I know, they may next be sent to Congress. Mark Twain uplifting life book Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime. Mark Twain girl time boys The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive ... but in spite of their religion, not because of it. The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetic in childbirth was regarded as a sin because it avoided the biblical curse pronounced against Eve. And every step in astronomy and geology ever taken has been opposed by bigotry and superstition. The Greeks surpassed us in artistic culture and in architecture five hundred years before Christian religion was born. Mark Twain biblical taken christian There is in life only one moment and in eternity only one. It is so brief that it is represented by the fleeting of a luminous mote through the thin ray of sunlight - and it is visible but a fraction of a second. The moments that preceded it have been lived, are forgotten and are without value; the moments that have not been lived have no existence and will have no value except in the moment that each shall be lived. While you are asleep you are dead; and whether you stay dead an hour or a billion years the time to you is the same. Mark Twain fleeting rays years It is wiser to find out than to suppose. Mark Twain intelligence change life All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out. Mark Twain music truth funny I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it. Mark Twain ignorant ignorance men So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment. Mark Twain employment honest hated The citizen who sees his society's democratic clothes being worn out and does not cry it out, is not a patriot, but a traitor. Mark Twain clothes liberty doe The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt. Mark Twain next politics views It{California} is the land where the fabled Aladdin's Lamp lies buried-and she {San Francisco} is the new Aladdin who shall seize it from its obscurity and summon the genie and command him to crown her with power and greatness and bring to her feet the hoarded treasures of the earth. Mark Twain greatness land lying There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice. Mark Twain halloween temptation fear Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of atrocities War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind. He is the only animal that for sordid wages will march out... and help to slaughter strangers of his own species who have done him no harm and with whom he has no quarrel.... And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for the universal brotherhood of man with his mouth. Mark Twain passion war peace A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt Mark Twain aunt uncles funny Carlyle said 'a lie cannot live.' It shows that he did not know how to tell them. Mark Twain shows said lying If they [the dead] should speak, it would be found that in matters of opinion no departed person was exactly what he had passed for in life. They would realise, deep down, that they, and whole nations along with them, are not really what they seem to be-and never can be. Mark Twain departed would-be matter How empty is theory in the presence of fact! Mark Twain empty theory facts Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. Mark Twain inspiration civilization history
