Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce Red Skelton More Quotes by Red Skelton More Quotes From Red Skelton Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. Red Skelton laughtersadnesshappiness I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God. Red Skelton purposebelievepeople If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled. Red Skelton smilesillyheart There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two. Red Skelton humorouslossmemories I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always Red Skelton divorceinspirationnames Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. Red Skelton old-ageagemind People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up. Red Skelton flowermorningthinking Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime. Red Skelton laughterrunningfunny All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. Red Skelton marriagemistakeinspirational No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds. Red Skelton heartachelaughterhappiness Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people. Red Skelton laughingpeoplethinking I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin Red Skelton nextguydrinking I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen. Red Skelton humorinspirationfunny I don't need glasses, but I've just reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity. Red Skelton vanityglassescuriosity I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy. Red Skelton believe My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. Red Skelton doctorsdollarslooks I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born. Red Skelton weighthalflooks Congress: Bingo with billions. Red Skelton bingobillionscongress Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room. Red Skelton charactertelevisionrooms She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off Red Skelton humorinspirationfunny
