Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral. Robert Orben More Quotes by Robert Orben More Quotes From Robert Orben A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace. Robert Orben rustweaponswar Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists? Robert Orben homepasttravel Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools! Robert Orben modern-lifebookschool There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers. Robert Orben humorworkfunny Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price. Robert Orben luxurydemocracyfirsts I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left. Robert Orben new-yearfightingyears Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down. Robert Orben politiciangovernmentway Do your kids a favor - don't have any. Robert Orben funnykidschildren President Ford used humor a great deal. Robert Orben dealsusedpresident I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread. Robert Orben vegetablesfoodthinking I don't see why religion and science can't cooperate. What's wrong with using a computer to count our blessings? Robert Orben science-and-religioncomputerblessing To exercise is human; not to is divine. Robert Orben humansdivineexercise What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds. Robert Orben take-metvsmind I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff. Robert Orben armsstuffmean To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse. Robert Orben excitementstresswork I'd like to say a few words about one of the most popular concepts in the modern education--show and tell. Show and Tell is a device created by grammar schools to communicate family secrets to 32 other families before 9:15 am in the morning. Robert Orben teachingeducationmorning Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. Robert Orben cerealfoodchildren All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it; but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem. Robert Orben griefmeanyears Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always Robert Orben disappointingpandasexpectations Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published. Robert Orben eighttryingyears
