The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood. Daniel Tosh More Quotes by Daniel Tosh More Quotes From Daniel Tosh e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends. Daniel Tosh foundation good-friend comedy Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman. Daniel Tosh bigger Is it okay to roofie a girl just to shut her up? Daniel Tosh okay girl I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities. Daniel Tosh sports believe country I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range. Daniel Tosh range actors play I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty; you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow. Daniel Tosh girl eye blue My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida. Daniel Tosh florida excuse grew-up You are a sick freak who should be beaten. Daniel Tosh freak sick funny Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of. Daniel Tosh san-francisco humor funny I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences. Daniel Tosh audience materials tests People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes. Daniel Tosh writing trying people I can say that. I have a television show. Daniel Tosh humor funny television I go to the dentist every six months, I get a cleaning, so... I'm fortunate enough that those fluoride treatments as a child worked. Not getting any cavities. Daniel Tosh six-months funny children I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling. Daniel Tosh matter night funny Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind my back, I decided, 'I'm just going to buy a house.' Daniel Tosh independent funny people
