The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world Robert Orben More Quotes by Robert Orben More Quotes From Robert Orben A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence. Robert Orben silence funny people It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line. Robert Orben scratches plot writing The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss. Robert Orben missing opportunity witty Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people. Robert Orben funny-life used people Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it's a pen that scratches. Robert Orben jet-planes scratches cities The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it. Robert Orben comedy secret writing In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh. Robert Orben fighting humor two What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians? Robert Orben what-if earth religion Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth. Robert Orben medicine pain disease I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name! Robert Orben family names kids We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories. Robert Orben family listening dirty Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years. Robert Orben wildfires years Did you ever get to wondering if taxation without representation might have been cheaper? Robert Orben taxation-without-representation wonder might The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow. Robert Orben crow humility grace Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. Robert Orben real people moving These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose. Robert Orben punishment criminals tvs I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?' Robert Orben share yesterday wonder Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer. Robert Orben divorce valentine cards An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions. Robert Orben lasts answers years Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor. Robert Orben sticks feet way
