The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off. Alexei Sayle More Quotes by Alexei Sayle More Quotes From Alexei Sayle My name is Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad Glorious Five Year Plan Sputnik Tractor Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Me Dad was a bit of a Communist, know what I mean? Alexei Sayle dad mean years If you travel to the States... they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift'; they say 'drapes', we say 'curtains'; they say 'president', we say 'seriously deranged git.' Alexei Sayle different president america Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own. Alexei Sayle feds mind sometimes People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. Alexei Sayle motorcycle-gangs riding people If sitcoms were easy to write, there'd be a lot of good ones, and there aren't. Alexei Sayle sitcom easy writing Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git. Alexei Sayle president stupid funny Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, may have had his charms, but he really couldn't be considered hip. Alexei Sayle space may men There's a part of me that still hates everything, and my natural view default setting is still very cynical and dark Alexei Sayle hate views dark If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres. Alexei Sayle cobblers charity cities Israel is the Jimmy Saville of nation states. Alexei Sayle nations states israel I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right clothes. Alexei Sayle nice summer winter A lot of those comics can't hold down relationships and they've got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and a lot of them can't even talk. All they can do is tell gags. Alexei Sayle gags performing sleep Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like ""Brothers in Arms"" and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git. Alexei Sayle band brother stupid But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder. Alexei Sayle nuance party belief I've been going to Granada for many years and 12 years ago bought a house a few miles outside the city. Alexei Sayle cities house years Even a blind dog can find a bone every so often. Alexei Sayle bones dog opportunity I feel sorry for many politicians we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not. Alexei Sayle consistent politician sorry I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that. Alexei Sayle spring ideas thinking However, my problems with my memory are further complicated by the fact that while I don't have any recollection of things I have actually done, I have very vivid recollections of loads of things that I haven't done. Alexei Sayle vivid memories facts Most of my friends are women - I quite fancied being a woman in a way. Alexei Sayle being-a-woman my-friends way
